


We're All Mad Here

by RedKilo87



Category: Life Is Strange (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-06
Updated: 2015-06-06
Packaged: 2018-04-03 03:08:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4084330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedKilo87/pseuds/RedKilo87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Have you ever wondered if you’ve completely lost your mind?’ Chasefield</p>
            </blockquote>





	We're All Mad Here

****Title: We’re All Mad Here

Pair: Chasefield

Rating: Undecided

Disclaimer: I own nothing! So don’t even try to sue me.

This is my first time writing in a very long time…like seven years…geez. I decided to write a Chasefield story because I happened to stumble upon a lot of good stories/fan art/etc. of the pair and have now decided to dive head first into that trash pile and live among the garbage forever.  I haven’t decided if I will continue this; I suppose it all depends on feedback.

Also so you don’t get confused about the timeline, think of all of this happening in the first few months after she arrives at Blackwell, so no time controlling abilities.

Hope you enjoy!

Side note: I also recommend listening to “Kitchen Sink” and “Migraine” by Twenty One Pilots while reading this. “Doubt” and “The Judge” might also work.

—————————————————-

_‘Have you ever wondered if you’ve completely lost your mind?’_

_'Not in a normal fashion where it just turns in on itself and the next thing you know you’re sitting on a park bench discussing the outcome of last week’s lunch choices with a pair of passing squirrels. No I mean truly lost your mind, where one day it just decides to pack up and leave without the decency of even giving a two-week’ notice.’_

_'And what it leaves behind in its wake torments you day in and day out until you really start to consider a lobotomy as a reasonable option to end the consent torment.’_

_'I have, over the past few months it’s the only thing I think about because it’s the only reason I can come up with for what is happening to me.’_

_'And I am really hoping I can find a way to make it stop…before I do something I know we 'both’ will regret.’_

I could feel it again…

The warmth on the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine and causing the hairs to stand on end; the brush of fingertips too soft for their own good over my skin. Following a path they’ve burned onto my flesh over these last seven days from my throat to my lips. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter as the fingers linger on my lips making the inside of my mouth go dry as if it has not felt the coolness of water in years.

I know what she wants; it’s what she has always wanted.

The smell of her perfume awakens my senses and I instinctively inhale the scent into my lungs, she’s leaning closer which is why I’m able to now dissect the scent surrounding me; knowing almost by instinct the difference between her perfume and her shampoo. The same smells that I have loved for months; the same scent that makes me yearn to bury my face into her hair and just take it in completely every time she passes by me.

**_“Open your eyes.”_ **

She pleads into my ear with a voice so pure that my throat constricts at the sound of it, making it hard to breath. I beg my body to ignore the feeling of her warm breath against my ear; to keep my eyes shut. But I know it is a pointless battle, I could never deny her anything. My eyes open on their own accord her image blurry at first before coming into focus in all its glory; my heart hammers into my ribs as it does every time I lay my eyes upon her beauty as if it is trying to leap free of my rib cage and freely give itself over to her.

She smiles and I’m sure that I have stopped breathing now; her face is so close that I can almost taste her. Her fingers return to my cheek, her thumb stroking small circles over my skin causing goosebumps to break out all over my body; she’s leaning closer now and I watch as her head tilts just slightly as a small knowing smirk spreads across her lips…

She knows what I want, it’s what I always want.

Her lips are barely centimeters away from mine now, I have lost all thought and all power over the situation; the name is building in my throat, screaming to be released past my lips and I’m trying with all my might to restrain it but am losing this never ending battle. Her lips descend onto mine sending me into a whirlwind of pleasure but not before a name passes the barrier of my mouth.

**“Victoria…”**

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

My eyes snap open, only to be greeted by the image of the ceiling above me; the shadows tossed across it by the morning sunlight filtering in through the blinds seem to be laughing at me, as they jump back and forth across the painted surface. Lifting a hand up to my face, covering the mockery that lays before me, blocking out the whispered sounds of their laughter that always seem to be just at the edge of my hearing.

Every morning that I wake from this never ending dream they are waiting for me, waiting to taunt me from above and to laugh at me for my foolishness. No matter how much I try to block it out it remains just at the edge of my hearing, just loud enough for me to know it’s there, that god awful laughing.

My alarm clock brings me back down to reality, the constant noise breaking up my clouded thoughts and placing me back on level ground where I am able to gain control over the situation once more. I silence the alarm as I remove myself from the bed knowing full well that if I were to linger any longer I would just be lulled back sleep by the warmth of my bed and the sleep that still pulls weakly against my consciousness and the last thing I need right now is to be late to my classes.

The dreams started barely two weeks after I arrived at Blackwell, every night the same things, the same feelings, the same touches and that same kiss at the end. But right at the kiss is when my alarm will always go off; it’s like I’m on a treadmill running as hard as I can but never getting anywhere, seeing the same scene over and over again.

And saying the same name…

Victoria…

No matter how many times I try to feel disgust at the idea of being so intimate with the supposed Queen Bee of Blackwell; my supposed enemy at that. All I end up feeling is a need so strong that it sends everything I originally thought about the world into a tailspin; leaving me more confused than when I started. After months I have stopped thinking and just accepted it even though with each passing day the fear builds in my gut, fear of what is to come if I don’t get these feelings under control.

**_'You dreamed of me again, didn’t you?’_ **

Her voice reaches my ears almost if carried by a passing breeze which is completely impossible in the closed off space that is my bedroom. I can barely stop myself from glancing over to the window to see if I had left it open by mistake, hoping that the voice came from outside. A part of me laughs at me for thinking that she may have finally left, returned to where she came from to never return to torment me again…but I should have known better.

I slowly lift my gaze up to the mirror and there she is, standing in her full glory; her body leaning against the desk that sits up against the wall behind me, her lips shaped into the always present smile. Her posture oozes confidence and something I couldn’t put my finger on for the longest time…sexuality.

 ** _'When are you just going to accept it Maxine…’_** she draws out her words in a tongue in cheek manner, her eyes alight with her own amusement **_'Accept it Max you want to fu..’_**

**“Stop!”**

She does but all the while her lips shift into that smile again and I know that she knows that I have took the bait, I have allowed her to make me acknowledge her. She arrived the morning after I had the first dream; a splitting image of the girl my heart secretly pines for, from her hair all the way down to her toes. She is Victoria in every way possible except one; she is just a figment of my own sick imagination.

I have noticed with each passing week she changes, grows more forward, more blunt in her advances. She uses words that the real Victoria would never even dream of saying, she fills my head with images that make my body throb with a mixture of pleasure and guilt; she is a constant voice in my ear. I should have known as soon as I saw her, as soon as I started to just accept her presence that I was falling faster and faster down into my own mind.

I should have known she was going to break me…

I just didn’t know it was going to happen so soon.

 **“Why won’t you just go away!?”** my voice sounded weak even to my own ears.

**_'Why don’t you just accept it?’_ **

The same answer, every time I asked that question I always got the same answer; she was looking at me with an almost pitying expression which was more than I could handle at this moment in time. Everything she said to me or even just the way she looked affected me ten times worse because the words and those emotions came from Victoria…even though it really wasn’t her.

I moved myself away from the mirror, moving quickly towards my closet, setting my mind to the task of preparing myself for class. But even as I settled into this routine I could still hear her, she was humming; humming a tune so sickeningly sweet, I just wanted to strangle her. It angered me that I could not control my own imagination; that I could not just close my eyes and make her go away. It was almost as if my own mind was working against me.

My clothes felt cool against my heated skin as I slipped into my shoes and grabbed my camera bag, slinging it over my shoulder. I knew that time was ticking down and that if I did not hurry I would be late, but I could not bring myself to move almost as if my feet were rooted into the carpet. I could hear my own breathing in my ears, the beat of my heart against my chest as I felt her presence near my back taunting me.

**_“You’re going to be late my sexually confused little hipster.”_ **

Her voice snapped me out of my haze, I glared back at her as heat flooded to my cheeks but the movement only succeeded in making me feel childish. Moving forward with new found purpose I yanked the door open and quickly pulled it shut behind me in a feeble attempt to trap her within the confines of my room. I forced myself down the hall avoiding any eye contact with the door across the hall from my own; pushing myself towards class with a new found purpose knowing that I was heading to the place where my self-control would be tested the most…

The place where the real Victoria was waiting.

**BANG…**

**BANG…**

**BANG…**

I have found out over the course of these last few months that dropping your head repeatedly onto a desk is not the _“best”_ way to remove yourself from a troublesome situation; but it works really well at being a distraction. With each collision of the desk to my forehead brought about a brief flare of pain not enough to become uncomfortable but just enough to keep my mind focused on anything but what was currently going on around me.

Now don’t get me wrong I was not making a huge scene about this attempted pursuit of permeant brain damage, I sat myself in my usual desk at the back of Mr. Jefferson’s classroom with my head somewhat hidden behind my arms except for those who ventured close enough would be able to hear the solid contact that my forehead made upon the desk.

Of course it seems that it couldn’t block out my own thoughts…

That stupid _'tsking’_ noise reached my ears long before her voice did; I hated the way she acted like she was better than me. How can your own mind be better then you and if your mind thought that; did that mean you subconsciously thought the same thing?

All I knew was that thinking like that gave me more of a headache then banging my head into the desk did.

 ** _'Aren’t you even worried that you may be harming me by doing that?’_** Her voice took on a pouty tone which brought a lump of guilt to my throat. She shouldn’t be allowed to use _'her’_ voice. It wasn’t fair to bring about the feelings that I would get if the really Victoria had ever said those words to me. I swallowed back the guilt in my throat, replacing it quickly with forced anger and dropped my head back down onto the desk with a resounding **'THUD’** before turning my head just enough to be able to glare at her while she sat preached upon the desk next to me. She didn’t even give me the pleasure of a hurt expression just flashed that god-awful smile.

**_'Someone is in a touchy mood this morning’_ **

I wonder if it is possible to pummel your own imagination; the image of my fist connecting with her face just brought about a painful tightening in my stomach for her face belonged to Victoria and the thought of bringing pain to her just sent me further into myself. **_'I can hear her coming!’_** Her voice was excited as it broke through my depressed haze and I just knew if I looked towards her right at that moment she would be looking in the direction of the door.

I knew she was right though, if I tuned out all the rest of the sounds and just focused on the noises floating in from the hallway, I could hear her laugh; the sound sent shivers down my spine. Such a pure sound, it shouldn’t be possible for something as simple as a laugh to make someone feel as though their insides where tying themselves into a bow to make themselves presentable to her.

I had been able to avoid her all morning which had led to more than one uncomfortable situation, one being where I had been collecting my books out of my locker when all of sudden I heard her and knew that I mere seconds to escape before she was upon me with form of thought of insult and I would be stuck. So I did the only thing I could, I dove into the closest area which happened to be the science room.

If being a coward and running away wasn’t bad enough I had to pick the one time of the day when there was a class in progress. I just knew that this story was going to be thrown way out of proportion by the time the end of the day arrived; I just knew someone was going to say I was just crazy.

Which I guess was kind of true.

I shouldn’t be acting like this, if I kept this up Victoria would start to notice that something was up and that would just cause more trouble. I couldn’t expect her to just not notice that whenever she was in anyway shape or form around me, I proceeded to either run away, blush, stutter, and or turn into a complete and utter useless pile of goo. She may generally ignore me when she was not making fun of me but ignoring that list of offences seemed possibly difficult even for the Queen Bee herself.

But being around her was so hard, I felt sick to my stomach and I couldn’t stop my heart from slamming into my chest so hard it hurt. Not to mention the images that _'fake’_ Victoria whispered into my ears just didn’t help.

 **“Max!”** a voice broke through my troubled thoughts, a voice I knew very well **“Earth to the Hipster!”** all of the sudden the warmth of an hand on my shoulder registered in my mind and all other thoughts came screeching to a halt as she gave a little shake. I snapped my head up quicker then I should have, coming face to face with Victoria. My heart slammed into my chest so hard at the sight of her so close that I had to clench my fist to keep myself from reaching up and grabbing hold of my chest in pain.

 **“Uh…”** Was that the only thing my mind could come up with!? Did that sound as lame as it did me?

She scowled and I just knew I was stepping closer and closer to the edge, close enough that the tips of my toes were hanging over the edge.

 **“Geez, where did you go?”** she cocked her head to the side in a way that I found so adorable following it with a small arch of her perfect eyebrow as she said; **“Did you finally return to your home planet Hipster?”** she flashed a smug smile as if she was amused by her own joke.

I was falling now, how could such a simple smile make me feel like I was melting. It wasn’t fair that she could do this to me, I was supposed to be strong; be a girl that nothing as simple as a bunch of emotions could effect. But as I sat there staring up into those beautiful eyes I realized something; I was strong when it came to everything but her.

 ** _'Kiss her’_** the whispered words tickled my ear, **_'You know you want to.’_**

My eyes betrayed me as they glanced down at her lips, they looked so soft…so kissable. She was right I did want to kiss her; I wanted to reach up and cup her face between my hands and kiss her until she filled me completely. The sound of a throat clearing brought my attention back up to her face where I noticed that instead of smiling she was looking at me with her famous scowl expression that made me feel like a brick had just dropped into my stomach.

 **“What the hell is your problem today?”** her voice brought heat up my cheeks and I just knew I was blushing, **“You’re weird all the time but damn, today you are trying to go for the gold.”** Where was a big hole when I needed one, so I could just crawl inside it and hide.

 **“Uh…”** Damnit! Was that the only thing that I could say around her? Before I could talk with her, it may have not been full sentences but at least I could talk and defend myself; but now is this all I am going to be able say? Am I slowly losing all of my functions around her, first I couldn’t think, then I couldn’t hardly breathe now I can’t talk! What’s next!?

This was not good, I was losing control of the situation faster than I thought possible.

**_'Wow…that was smooth’_ **

The sarcastic words ignited a fire deep within my stomach, how could my own mind be making fun of me at a moment like this; a moment where I already felt like I was going to die underneath that questioning gaze. And before I could stop myself; I snapped **. “SHUT UP! JUST FUCKING SHUT UP!”**

I wonder if it was possible to hate myself any more than I did right at that moment.

The flash of confusion and maybe even pain that filled her eyes made me feel like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and what made it even worse was I caused that look because I couldn’t control myself or my own thoughts. She opened her mouth as if she was going to say but then decided ageist it and closed it once again, her eyes narrowing and a new tightness of her mouth set her lips in a hard line. I knew I had only moments to make it right or at least keep her from killing me but I all I could was stare at her like a lost puppy. My throat had constricted so much I wasn’t even sure I could make myself talk even if I wanted to. The pressure of everyone’s eyes who had already made into the class weighed down on me like they were dumping wet cement onto my head and I was drowning.

The moment of me being able to pass it off as a joke or as a mistake passed and before I knew it she had slowly lifted a finger into the air and pointed it directly at my face, so close that if I were to focus on the tip I would have gone cross eyed. She licked her lips briefly before speaking which just made my head hurt, her words like knives forcing themselves through my temples. **“You will never speak to me like that again.”** She did not yell, she barely even raised her voice but each word seemed to carry a weight behind them like a hammer against the back of my head. **“Do you understand, you insignificant little hipster?”** I found myself nodding even before I really had processed what she said, at this point I would have done anything she said but luckily for me she wasn’t in a Seppuku mood.

With one last smoldering scowl she turned and was making her way out of the room while I sat there looking at where she had just been with a deer in the headlight look. How could I have let this happen…why couldn’t I just control my mind; how could I let it make me lose my control like that!

 ** _'What are you stupid?!’_** a hiss into my ear, **_'Go after her! You need to fix this!’_**

You would have thought I would have been angry at her for even talking to me at this moment but in truth all my angry had left as soon as those words had left me, her words echoed into my head over and over again before I even realized that I was making a huge mistake by letting her leave, I could not let the girl I loved leave like that without me explaining…apologizing?

Wait… _'girl I loved’_?I’d have to deal with that train of thought later, I didn’t have time for that cluster of new information.

I was out of my seat in a flash, leaving the room behind without giving a second thought to the looks everyone had to have been giving me at the moment; not many people were stupid enough to chase after Victoria Chase especially after she had just laid into you with such a murderous like calm that she could have been compared to Hannibal Lector in the given situation. Sliding in the most un-athletic way around the door frame I was just able to catch the sight of her as she rounded a corner towards the girls’ dorms no doubt. Thanking whatever gods existed that she didn’t seem to be walking with much purpose.

I raced down the hallway, out through the doors and turned the corner, quickly closing the distance as her name left my mouth, **“Victoria!”**

Luckily she paused just long enough at the sound of her name, probably on instinct. Giving me just the right amount of time to close the rest of the distance between us, I moved without thinking; running completely on my emotions. My arms closed around her from behind and I pulled her back into my chest, the warmth that spread through my body was almost more than I could bare but I would not let her go I needed her to understand how sorry I was and that I had never meant to upset her…or hurt her; I didn’t really know what she was feeling and I was way too far gone at this moment to go back and try to mentally work myself through what possible emotions she could be experiencing in this moments.  

 **“I’m so sorry…”** the words croaked out past the lump in my throat, leaving me breathless. **“I didn’t mean too…”**

Now if I had been thinking normally I would have realized what I had just done could probably be put into the same category as stepping into a lion’s den and trying to hug the beast without having my throat ripped out and my intestines snacked upon.

I did realize it though, just a little bit too late. I couldn’t go back now so I just had to push forward, at least I had a step up on her if she tried to kill me since she was currently wrapped up in my grip.

Not the strongest grip, mind you. But it would still give me a least a couple seconds if needed.

The moments seemed to pass by which such a slowness it would have given a snail a run for its money before she even acted as though she had heard what I had done or said. She had been standing so ridged against me that I barely noticed it at first but a sudden pressure against my chest and I realized that she was leaning back into me if only just slightly, the shock and relief that spread through me almost knocked me completely off my feet. I had to restrain myself from lifting my head up and inhaling the scent of her hair; instead I just kept my face pressed into her back, buried right between her shoulder blades.

This was not the time to act out fantasies.

 **“Max?”** her voice tugged me gently from my thoughts. **“Have you lost your mind?”**

The question caught me completely off guard, not pre-say the question itself but the way she asked it. Her voice held an almost soft humor to it as if she was more amused then upset by the fact that I was currently holding her. The whole event was really throwing me for a loop, I had never seen her act like this before especially to me; it probably helped that we were currently hidden by the outside of the building and chances of anyone running into us in this very comprising situation were slim because everyone was in one class or another.

Classes the two of us should have been in as well.

So in all I was just left completely stunned and when I didn’t think it possible my heart swelled and I found myself loving this girl even more.

Again the _'loving’_ word…

Not now.

After a couple moments I realized that I still hadn’t answered her, just continued to stand there stupidly with my nose buried into her back. But in those moments she hadn’t pulled away from me, she hadn’t even attempted to or even rush me along for an answer; she was being so patient and for some reason that terrified me more than if she would have been yelling at me.

I was starting to believe that at that moment in time I would have preferred her to be yelling, I knew yelling Victoria. This patience just put too much pressure on me. I felt too much like a child, as if she was being this way because she didn’t feel like I was capable of dealing with an actual adult response to the situation that I had just thrown the two of us into.

God damnit it! I was an adult, well according to the state of Oregon because I was eighteen so I was adult; that should have been proof enough. I felt the softness of her cashmere sweater brushing across my lips and I realized that I was pouting.

Okay, so maybe I was being childish.

 **“Max?”** Her voice once again brought me out of my tangled web of thoughts, resting my chin against her back I glanced up at the back of her head. Her head was cocked slightly to the side as if she was trying to glance back at me. Her voice held a soft edge to it, weaving in with my name telling me in its own quiet way that I needed to stop receding within myself and actually focus on the situation in front of me because her patience was wavering.

 **“I may have…”** I spoke so softly that I felt for a moment that I hadn’t even spoken at all.

 **“Lost your mind?”** her response was quick and inquisitive as if she wasn’t sure that I was agreeing with her earlier question.

 **“Yeah.”** I paused briefly after speaking feeling as if for the first time I had finally voiced that I felt like I was actually losing my mind. It was barely a statement at all and for all I knew Victoria could just simply think I was joking but for me I felt like at least one of the hundreds of bricks on my shoulders had been dropped to the floor.

It was an invigorating feeling.

Tightening my arms around her body, I pulled her tighter to me for a quick exciting moment. I felt as if the heat the passed from her body to mine was intensifying the feeling of brief freedom within me. But I knew that it couldn’t last and for the first time in many weeks I felt as if I had some control of my being.

With a burst of self-control I eased my arms from around her and took a firm step back; I felt the loss of everything that made her as I forced myself back. I instantly missed her heat, missed her scent that I had been enveloped since I had first collided with her back.

The loss made my heart ache, it slammed against my wavering self-control and the force it took to stand my ground left my head throbbing.  

Clenching my hands at my side, I prepared to stand my ground against anything she could throw at me, I had invaded her personal space rather abruptly after all.

I glanced up briefly from where I had been staring holes into the ground to watch as she slowly eased her body around to face me. I couldn’t read her expression to save my life and at this moment that might have been rather helpful.

She stared down at me, her eyes piercing and I felt as if she was taking me apart and putting my back together right then. I saw the muscles of her jaw contract as if she was clenching her teeth together. I felt like I was frozen in place, where had all my earlier self-confidence and control gone. I had just had it a minute ago.

 **“Hipster, you sure are a strange one.”** Again that small edge of amusement burned against my ears and I flushed so hot I thought I might spontaneously combust **“But if you truly think that you are losing your mind, you should talk to someone…”** she trailed off and an expression crossed her features that I could only decipher as she was fighting with herself about something.

Lifting my head up slightly to look more directly at her, taking the pause in conversation to appreciate just how beautiful Victoria really was. It may have not been the best time for it but the way she dragged her teeth over her bottom lip as she thought over whatever was causing her such indecision just made it impossible to not appreciate what was standing right in front of me.

I must have been making a rather strange face for she arched another eyebrow at me, pulling me quickly away from my trip down fantasy lane.

Her trademark scowl had returned to her face but for a moment I couldn’t tell if she was scowling at herself or me.

 **“I’m right across hall, so you know you can always just come over if you need to talk to someone…”** I had never seen someone make the face she was making before as if the words had tasted strange in her mouth.

The way she was looking at me though left me feeling as if she was daring me to say something about it, her eyes bore into mine and with each second that passed I felt my heart speed up as if I was running a marathon.

The marathon that was known as Victoria Chase.

I swallowed hard trying to force the lump that had returned to my throat back down to a manageable level. I could feel the sweat building up on my palms and I resisted the urge to wipe them aggressively across my jeans.

**“Uh…”**

Oh come on!  

It’s like I couldn’t even give myself a break if I tried.

She blinked down at me before rolling her eyes slowly and shifting on her feet once more. **“Okay…”** the word breezed out past her lips in an off handed manner and pushed herself forward and past me, her shoulder lightly brushing against my own as she moved past; no doubt heading back to class in an attempt to salvage the day.

Spinning myself so quickly around I could have nearly given myself whiplash, chasing after her image I spoke without really allowing myself time to comprehend what I was even saying. **“I’ll stop by soon!”** my words came out almost too loud for my liking and I felt myself cringe before I had even put together what I had just said…

Wait, what?

Spending time in her room was not on my current to do list, maybe my fantasy to do list but defiantly not my realistic actually going to possibly happen to do list. Especially if that time spent in her room was telling her how I had been having dreams about her for months.

Oh and of course you can’t forget that I was being tormented by a figment of my imagination that looked exactly like her.

Yeah those were real ice breakers.

I watched as she glanced over her shoulder with a curious expression before tossing back her response as calmly as you would toss your own hair over your shoulder, **“Just make sure to knock first weirdo.”**

And then she was gone, disappearing around the corner leaving me to stare helplessly at the empty space that she had once occupied.

Well this day was shot.  

What the hell was I thinking!?

Oh I remember now; I wasn’t thinking, I don’t even think my brain was functioning at that moment I was too focused on her.

How am I going to tell her?

What am I going to tell her?!

When I can’t even breathe around her…

Burying my face deeper into my pillow, hoping with every ounce of my soul that it would just swallow me whole and let me escape from the situation I had put myself into. How was I going to tell her what was wrong when I didn’t truly have a full grasp on it yet?

I knew that I loved her…this was a recent discovery.

I knew that I wanted her but what I didn’t know was if I could handle if she reached into my chest and crushed my heart.

Was I ready to risk everything just to get a taste of her…?

 **'You know you are.’** her voice reached my ears, coated in a very amused tone,  **'You would jump off a bridge just to be able to get a taste of her.’**

That seemed like a little extreme…

I hated when she was right.

As each day passed I was starting to connect fake Victoria with my inner most desires and thoughts, it’s the only reason I could come up with for why she knew exactly what I was thinking and feeling as I was thinking and feeling them. Either that or I had it flashing above my head in bright neon lights.

I kind of hoped it was the later of the two because thinking about her being able to read my thoughts just made my head hurt…as did most things concerning her.

Turning my head to rest on its side, my cheek pressed into the pillow, the fabric still warm from my breath. From this position I was able to look upon the image of fake Victoria who was currently lounging on the bed next to me…if it was possible for an imaginary being to lounge. Having already accepted that she was just a figment of my imagination it amazed me at how real she looked, I felt as though I could just reach out and touch her, feel the warmth of skin against my fingers but I knew if I did all I would feel is the coolness of my comforter.

Even knowing this I still couldn’t help but believe that she was real in some far off part of my brain.

I really should start considering therapy.

 **'Poor Maxine…can’t seem to think up a way to confess her love’** the words passed through her lips in such a sarcastic voice that I just wanted to place the pillow over her face and hold it there until she stopped twitching…

Yup, therapy would be a good idea.

Every time she talks to me I find it harder and harder not to respond to her, not to answer her or even look at her. Before I had been able to ignore her and her comments but with each passing week I found it harder to do, I found myself responding to her more; acknowledging her presence. And by doing this she grew bolder, she talked more, stepped into my line of vison more; just plain distracting me from what was going on around me.

Like she was doing now and I was allowing myself to be pulled into her web.

 **“You think you have a better idea!?”** The words were forced out through clenched teeth, as I tried to burn holes through her with my glare.

 **“I never said that.’**  was her off-handed reply as she glanced down at her nails seeming to be checking them for imperfections, which only seemed to enrage me more. I was starting to realize that I spent almost all my time angry with myself.

 **"But that is what you implied!”** I snapped out in a huff, I could get angry at her, yell at her, scream and bitch until my throat bleed and she never seemed to be affected by it, even now she just continued to look at her nails.

 **'I implied no such thing, but if you wish to hear my opinion I would be glad to give it to you.’** I knew by this time I had to be staring at her like she was crazy, which was kind of ironic because I was the one that was crazy; but that’s not the point. The point was what in the hell happened to the overly sexual side of her?

Did I actually offend her?

Can figments of imagination be offended?

As I pondered over the possible emotions that a figment of imagination could achieve I failed the notice her trademark grin had returned to her lips, her body language completely changing in less than a second from offended to sensual overload.

But I of course failed to notice this until it was too late.

 **'So you missed my sensual side, did you?’**  her voice was husky and the words seemed to roll off her tongue, my insides set aflame at the sound of it causing my blood to begin rushing to other inappropriate places.

Oh god…

She had never sounded like that before, the image of the real Victoria appeared in my mind, her body pressed so tightly against mine, her warmth sending shivers through my body. The smell of her hair overloading my senses.

 **'You wish she would talk to you like this, don’t you?’** her words snapped me out of my hormonal haze, my gaze being focused on her once again only to be meet with her amused expression. As I pushed my body up into a sitting position trying to get away from her laughing eyes, my legs crossing under me, she appeared in front of me, her body leaning back against my dresser.

 **“You’re a bitch, I hope you know that.”** I hissed out at her in a very childish manner that even ashamed me after I heard myself say it. Why was I sinking down to her level…which was kind of my level if you thought about it. But that is again not the point.

 **'Takes one to know one.’** she replied back in the same childish manner that made me realize even more that it was pointless to argue with yourself.

 **“So what’s your opinion?”** the words escaped past my lips before I could stop them, it shocked me that I wanted to know what she thought I should do. Why should I care what she has to say because in truth, isn’t she just going to tell me what I already know.

' **Go to her room.** ' Was her simple response, why hadn’t I thought of that? Oh wait! I had and had decided that was a horrible idea. But I had to find a way to let her know that I was fine in the fewest words possible and get things back to normal.

A light buzzing sound brought my attention down to my cellphone that state perched upon my nightstand.

That just might work.

 **'You’re not telling her over the phone, you idiot.** ' she was laughing at me again, I could see it in her eyes.

 **“I didn’t say I was going too!”** I barked out, my expression showing my confusion over the situation, just a second ago I thought I had found the solution I was looking for and now I felt like it had just been ripped away from me.

'You need to take up her invitation and go talk to her, you dimwit.’What was with the name calling, if it wasn’t bad enough that she was laughing at me, now she had to start making crack shots at my ego as well; I was really starting to hate myself.

Talk to her…

I don’t know if I could do that, even if I just passed it off as just trying to be friendly, being so close to her for such a long period of time without being able to escape for fear of causing even more suspicion might just kill me re make me do something I would regret. Like just pressing her back against the closest wall and kissing her senseless.

 **'You’re such a child.’** Her voice was annoyed as she looked over at me.  **'You couldn’t do it even if you wanted to.’** ****

How dare she say that, she did not know what I could and could not do!

And I was sure as hell not a child!

I was an adult, damnit!

I had been over this already for god’s sake!

 **"I’ll show you a child…”** I grunted under my breath as I forced myself up and off my bed, it had been a couple hours since that fateful moment had taken place so I knew that Victoria was in her room.

Not that I had been listening for her or anything like that.

Running on pure adrenaline I threw open my door and was across the hall before I could even comprehend what my legs were doing. The sound of my knuckles connecting with the door brought me back down to reality, hard.

I yanked my hand back like I had just touched fire staring down at for a moment believing that it was not my hand and that it had been controlled by someone else.

 **“Who is it?!”** my head snapped back towards the door so hard my neck pinched at the sound of her muffled voice making its way through the door. **“I swear to god Taylor if that’s you, I told you I was studying!”**

Oh god!

What do I do…?

She already sounded annoyed, so it wasn’t a good time for her and studying really was important. Not something that I should distract her from. I hadn’t said anything yet so I still had time to escape with her being any the wiser.

 **'Such a fucking child…’**  I hadn’t even realized that she had followed me out into the hall but I guess that was kind of foolish to think that she wouldn’t have being that she was me after all. Shooting a glance in her direction I noticed that she was looking at me with an expression that was so full of pity that I could barely tolerate it.

I could do this!

I was not a child, childish sometimes yes but not a child.

It was just talking, it’s not like I had agreed to bare my soul to her.

I could talk to her.

 **"Um…”** Okay maybe not; well at least it was better than _'Uh…’_

Daring another side glance in my tormentor’s direction I found her staring at me as if I was no bigger than an ant under her very expensive designer shoes.

Focusing back on the door in front of me, I took a deep breath and set my shoulders. I could do this, I really could.

 **“It’s Max.”** The words came out almost normal, only caring a slight waiver at the end and I found myself smiling, seemingly proud of such a small accomplishment.

But really I’d take anything I could get today.

There was a long pause on the other side of the door and I was sure with each passing second that a part of me was dying not to mention the fact that my stomach was knotting so tightly it hurt in fear that she hadn’t actually heard me and I was going to have to attempt that speaking thing again.

 **“It’s unlocked.”** I almost missed her response when it finally came, her words were so softly spoken through the door.

So she was telling her to _‘fuck off’_ for lack of a better way of putting it.

I could go inside but I still wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. But she hadn’t told me off and for some reason alone that was enough to bring a small smile to my face.

Reaching out I curled my fingers around the doorknob, feeling it shift slightly in my grip even before applying any turn to it. I felt that I was as ready as I was ever going to be in this situation, I just had to go inside and make a little small talk. Just had to brush off the situation that had taken place earlier that day and hopefully leave the room in record time to never have to return and it wasn’t for fake Victoria calling me a child, this hopefully easy way out wouldn’t have been possible…

Wait.

Shifting my gaze away from the door, the handle still resting heavy against my fingers, I turned my gaze over to her for the first time since the real Victoria had spoken and was meet by one very smug expression.

 **“Oh. I see what you did there.”** I couldn’t stop the smile that pulled at my lips, she had tricked me; I had been tricked by my own mind. Go figure. I should have known she was baiting me by calling me a child and getting me all worked up, I should have known but I still took the bait.

**“Very clever.”**

**'I try.’** I could almost taste the pride the coated her words before she lifted her hand up and waved in the direction of the door. **‘Go on now, my playable little hipster.’** Another well placed smirk. **‘She’s waiting and if I know me, it’s best not to keep her waiting.’**

I nodded and turned towards the door, cringing only slightly when I realized that I had once again treated her as if she was actually real. I really needed to stop doing that, but I didn’t have time to deal with that now. I had a whole new challenge ahead of me and needed to focus fully on that, hopefully the fake Victoria would take that thought as a hint and stay outside and out of the upcoming conversation.

One could hope.

Taking one final deep breath, I eased myself forward as I turned the handle, pushing the door open.

This wasn’t going to be that hard.

I could do this. I just had to keep telling myself that.

I moved myself around the door, turning slightly too carefully shut it behind me, keeping my eyes away from Victoria, giving myself as much time as I could to get myself ready.

I finally turned towards her direction, straightening myself and bringing my gaze upon her for the first time since entering the room. When my eyes finally found her I felt my heart take a high dive into my ribs, taking the breath completely out of me. She was sitting at her desk chair, which was turned sideways so that she could stretch the long expansive of her legs out to cross at her ankles by bare feet. Her skirt was cut perfectly and it had always stopped at a decent level but the way she was sitting had caused it to rise up and expose the creamy color of her thighs.

There was too much exposed skin…

Too much…

I felt my mouth go dry and I wanted nothing more than to lick my lips at the moment, everything was to dry and I felt chapped all of a sudden. I wasn’t prepared for this.

I didn’t know how long I had been staring at her for but I knew that it had to have been longer then was normally appropriate for a situation such as this.

 **“Max…”** her voice knocked lightly on the haze that I had dropped into; **“My eyes are up here.”**

I knew it took me longer than it should have to register what she had said but once all the puzzle pieces had connected within my brain I found myself looking up at her face and finding whatever little belief I had left in my ability to handle this situation gone as soon as I saw the little smirk the curled up the corner of her mouth. Her eyes sparkled with some undecipherable amusement and I knew I was doomed.

I can’t do this.


End file.
